thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
