Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
