I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
