saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize