I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i came on her dog
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
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