Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
love makes seman taste better
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
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We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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