Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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