Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
