He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.