I think i peed on brittanys purse
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i drank out of a bidet.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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