it hurts more in the daytime
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
