Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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