I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
