He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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