you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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