suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think weed is turning my hair brown
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
