D3 body, D1 cock
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
