On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
