So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
