We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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