Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
