i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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