That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
