Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.