How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
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So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night