I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful