hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.