Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.