dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.