She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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