If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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