yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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