if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
