i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
