i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
His hands were made for my vagina.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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