i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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