is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize