I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize