Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
someone owes me an orgasm
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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