Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
