And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
