she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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