Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
