marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
