So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
