Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize