Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
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I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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