Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
