Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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