I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
