i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There's even glitter on my cock...
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