fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my shit smells like andre
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
