You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
