They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
