it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
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Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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