He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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