so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So I just went to clothing optional bar
my god I love twenty year old dicks
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
