if you like me you must not know who I am
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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