But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
