he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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