I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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