Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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