hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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