wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize