is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
